Are you a multi-talented, multi-passionate person who finds it hard to “commit” to doing “just one thing”?
Sometimes I feel like a loser when I couldn’t just “stick with it” when something ceases to give me a deep sense of excitement and purpose. Some may call it ADD.
Do you identify with being a “wanderlust” in life – not only having a desire to travel physically but also (and more importantly) to embark on a personal journey that involves experiencing all parts of SELF and all aspects of LIFE?
In different stages of my life, and especially in my own business, sometimes the tension between the strong pull to EXPERIMENT, to DARE, to chase FREEDOM, and the fear that comes up when I untether from the “known” would tear me apart.
Do you know the wanderlust part of you and the primal part of you may be at odds with each other, resulting in conflicting/self-sabotaging behaviors that hold of you back from soaring in your business?
Sometimes the restlessness eats me up as it turns into a nervous energy. Sometimes I fall into the comparison trap when I see my college classmates climb up the corporate ladder and score impressive titles. Sometimes I just feel plain lost and doubt… why can’t I just be everyone else and “settle down?”
I bummed around a lot during college and grad school – east coast, west coast, England, France, Germany, Italy, Austria, Scandinavia, Eastern Bloc, Russia, Australia, China, Japan, Tibet, the Patagonia…
… with the sense of exploration and adventure often comes the urge to find Home. Not necessarily a physical location, but a sense of belonging that gives a feeling of anchor, certainty and security: a reference point for life.
I have been on the quest for finding my place in the world in a way that gives me an anchor so I can be free to explore.
Most recently I am finding it through the process of refining my belief and conviction, owning my message and expressing it through my business. Always, a work in progress.
COMMITMENT. FREEDOM. ANCHORED. EXPERIMENT.
What some consider to be a daring experiment may be judged by others as “hopping from one thing to another” or being a flake.
It’s hard enough when the judgment comes from outside of us. But it can be downright self-sabotaging when the conflict comes from within ourselves.
The tension created by Commitment vs. Abandonment, the longing to Trust vs. the need for Certainty sends mix messages – to our selves, to others, and to the universe.
The conflict turns us into Reluctant Wanderlusts.
I don’t know about you but I have heard enough of those “free calls” to encounter quite a few of them talking about “commitment”… and, ha, to commit you just pull out your credit card and pay the money… only if it’s that easy!
“Commitment” on a superficial level can feel binding to us who has a fierce streak of wanderlust. How do we discern being committed from “staying put” out of fears or past/outdated conditioning?
When are we going to stop beating ourselves up from not being able to “stick with it”… just because others manage to stay in the same job for 10 years?
What is being daring, adventurous and open to experimenting to uncover a deeper part of us, to challenge the status quo and to stretch ourselves; and what is just plain “avoidance” – running away from what we have to face in order to expand and grow (but feel hard and gut-wrenching)?
The lower chakras’ need for certainty and safety fighting the upper chakras’ desire for inspiration and expansion creates conflicts that muddle up our energy and make everything feels like we have one foot on the gas and one foot on the break.
How do we commit, without feeling being tethered? How do we make the wanderlust in us and our need for certainty play nice together so we can finally lift the foot from the break?
With the propensity toward “freedom” also comes the intense desire to find “home.” Without properly defining what each one means, we fall prey to internal conflict that keeps us from moving forward.
Can “wanderlust” and “home” co-exist?
Accept that we have that wanderlust part in us, and we have the “cave(wo)men” part in us. They are all parts of us being us and denial or avoidance will only create more tension that triggers self-sabotaging behaviors.
We need to have ALL of us on board for the actions we need to take, in order for the actions to be aligned, meaningful and impactful.
Commit to BEING someone, not to DOING something.
Make that commitment to yourself, not to someone else.
Commit to an identity and use it to guide actions. This can be exceptionally freeing because there is room for possibilities, adventure and experiment.
It’s like Pilates – when we have a strong core, we can do all sorts of thing things with our limbs and we can still be steady and balanced.
Life is dynamic, not static. To soar upward, there needs to be a grounded-ness.
We need some kind of reference point, or else we can be just plain lost.
But you are free to choose your anchor. What can give you an unwavering reference point so you can feel SAFE in the world?
If the “primal” part of you doesn’t feel its need for “safety” acknowledged, the subconscious mind (which affects 95% of our thoughts!) can throw a thousand “blocks” at you.
Is this anchor something you can hold onto, something you have “control” over? If it depends on other people or external circumstances, you can get into a shaky situation when the rug gets pulled out under you.
4. Find your place in the world
This is “home” (which doesn’t mean a physical location); this is your CORE message. When you know what you are about, you develop a deep Trust to give you a sense of Inevitability that serves as rocket fuel behind all your intentions and actions.
In Tad Hargrave’s book The Niching Nest, he wrote how “niching”, in its truest and broadest sense, is about finding our role in the community, our place in the world.
When you can articulate your core message into how you fit into the larger ecosystem (aka, how you create value and why you are relevant to the community you want to serve), you have found home through your business endeavor – a “home” that allows you to be YOU anywhere in the world.
When you find the WORDS to talk about how your conviction is translated into your work, you turn the inkling in your Guts into something your “logical mind” can get on board with.
When you find the WORDS so you can step up to own what you do, you voice it and set the intention for it to materialize.
When you get your entire SELF on board, you find a renewed excitement and commitment for your business.
Ling is an Intuitive Brainiac. Through her unique blend of Business + Marketing coaching with a Mindset + Psychic Twist, Ling Wong helps Maverick Entrepreneurs nail their message, claim their superpowers and muster up the GUTS to monetize their Truth.
Ling helps her clients find their Message, nail the WORDS that sell and design a Plan to work it, through her intuitive yet rigorous iterative process born out of her Harvard Design School training and 10 years of experience in the online marketing industry.
Find Ling and download her free “Monetize Your Truth” Mindset + Marketing training bundle here.