People ask me all the time, “how do I find my ideal clients?”
The “practical”/left brain answer is – find out where your ideal clients/herd/peeps/community/fans hang out, and then share your stuff (content, input, opinions, the occasional offering) there.
ok, easy enough. So why are people still flopping around trying to get noticed?
So let’s throw in some “right brain juice” that may sound a bit woowoo at first but it is clearly tied to how you show up and are being perceived… Don’t you want to be seen as confident/ know your shit/ deserve every penny you charge? (hint – this perception actually increases the demand for your services. Think Ferrari… people line up to buy the cars. They don’t have to sell – they just take the money.)
You want your peeps to SEE you? You have to see yourself first.
NO holding back. NO “…what if people think I am weird.” NO “…but it’s not supposed to be done this way.” NO “…but this blueprint or that training says you should not be this…”
Be opinionated. Be bold. Make some people hate you – that means you stand for something. For each person who can’t stand you, trust that there are three people out there saying “hell yeah, finally someone say something about this! How do I get more?” (Here is the tricky part – people are more likely to tell you they hate something than giving praise. Stand your ground.)
The energy you give out when you are all in, when you are committed, when you fully trust your gift – is CONFIDENCE. And people want a piece of that. They want to glow just like you. This, is being “loud”.
It can be SCARY. And it should be. Just acknowledging your gifts can be overwhelming – you have to make yourself see that you have a big shoe to fill! And what if you disappoint yourself by not filling it? Would that be a “confirmation” that I really suck?
Enters the Fear Factor
Of course stepping up in front of an audience can be scary. But I am digging into the deeper primary fears here. In the Fear Releasing Method, of which I am a certified practitioner, we work with 7 primary fears. 4 of which can contribute to you hiding out:
Fear of Inadequacy
The limiting belief “I am not good enough” is in the driver’s seat. You are afraid that failing at something after you put in your all is a validation of this very deep fear that you are indeed “not good enough.” If you acknowledge your gift, and actually put it out there without reservation and fail, there is nowhere to hide. Your subconscious mind wants to protect you by not seeing your gift, by not putting it out there. Even if you put it out there, you do it in a “kind of” way so you have a “way out” – an excuse if it doesn’t work out.
If you refuse to “see” yourself fully, how can you expect others to “see” you?
Fear of Being Worthless
This fear of not being worthy enough of any kind of acknowledgement and compensation causes a “martyr” mentality… over-giving, undercharging, putting other people’s $hit first etc. There is a perceivable lack of confidence in these behaviors. When you over-give, undercharge or dough out services for free, people don’t value your work as much – feeding that feeling of not being worthy… vicious cycle that takes you down a downward spiral if you stay unconscious of it.
Fear of Change
Stepping up means doing something different. It requires changes in your perspective, your mindset, your environment and your life. The resistance to change can keep you stuck in doing what you are doing – which produces the results you are getting.
Fear of Being Vulnerable
Being “seen” and being “loud” attracts attention. It means you are more likely to be judged and criticized. This fear occurs to people who are actually confident about the value they offer and the results they produce, yet hold themselves back from putting all parts of themselves out there because they are afraid of being criticized. You stay small so that you don’t attract the level of attention to be judged by others.
The first step to overcoming these fears is to cultivate the awareness and be able to call them out when you are doing things that hold yourself back. Understanding that you are not your fear is a huge step forward.
Ready to RELEASE YOUR FEARS so you can step up and be “found”? Join me for this live virtual training and learn How To Use Essential Oils To Release Your Fears. It’s gonna be awesome.