You know you have fallen into the Comparison Trap when you spend hours on the interwebs looking at your “competitors”. And feeling you should be doing this or launching that. And being “jealous” of how well others are doing. And beating yourself up because you are not doing the 12 other things you see 10 different people are doing (and somehow believe you have to do them all!)
At the end of the day, you have seen it all. But you haven’t done a thing. You spend all your time looking at other people, instead of focusing on YOUR income-producing activities. You got addicted. You do the same thing the next day, and the next day, and the next day… seeing more and feeling worse…
3 Diets To Dig Yourself Out of the Comparison Trap
Social Media Diet
You won’t shrivel up and die if you turn off your Facebook group notifications, or stop checking your newsfeed every 15 minutes. Be selective what notifications you receive, and the frequency you actively look at your feed. Someone may say – I do my marketing and build relationship on social media, I can’t just drop off the grid. Totally get it – here is what you can do:
TAKE ACTION: Set boundaries for yourself! Maybe block out 15 min a day to check 1 FB group instead of 5 each day. Maybe create a list using twitter tools so you see tweets from people who are relevant and only respond to DM and mentions. Maybe hire an intern for an hour a day to help you sift through social media stuff and only send you the relevant ones that you need to respond to.
Unsub from the majority of the email newsletters you are getting. Stay on just a few newsletters of people you resonate with and find valuable. You know who they are, and when it’s the right time that their materials are useful for you, you know where to find them again. Don’t worry, you are not missing out that much.
TAKE ACTION: If you leave just a few industry leaders on your list, you will be able to spot trends and learn best practices pretty easily without being overwhelmed.
Go Easy On Group Programs
I am a recovering group program junkie, I know how it goes. You are spoon-fed a ton of stuff – regardless of where YOU are at or what you want your business to do for you – and then see people bragging about their results on the Facebook group. It makes you beat yourself up and think there is something wrong with you if you haven’t done that telesummit and got 3,000 subscribers in 2 weeks.
You may be taking a few training simultaneously, and got sent into different directions doing the “homework”. A few months later, you are sitting on a bunch of half-completed projects that don’t speak to each other (or your business). You feel bad about scrapping them, yet you have no idea what to do with them.
TAKE ACTION: Get clear on what you want your business to do for you, have a vision of how you want that to happen, before you decide on what trainings will give you the tools to achieve your goals. Don’t succumb to the Bright Shiny Object Syndrome (read this post to cure yours)
The Fear Factor
Fear plays a big part in the comparison trap. It is fed by the Fear of Missing Out and fuels the Fear of Inadequacy.
If you have the Fear of Missing Out, you don’t want to miss a thing. But all the looking around’s make your more anxious, feeling more restless, become more discontent, or even make rushed decisions (and invest in things) that don’t support your big picture.
If the Fear of Inadequacy already plays a big part in your life, falling into the comparison trap can accentuate its manifestation – e.g. procrastination, fear of failure, fear of success, playing small, and feeling like a fraud. The comparison trap makes you feel that you are getting “external validation” that you are not good enough, sending you off to a downward spiral.
I will be sharing more on Fear and Releasing Fears in the next couple of weeks. Want more? Check out this Live Training on How To Use Essential Oils To Release Fear.